The Idea

Cece and I have decided to take our marriage on a world tour, not unlike a Bon Jovi or Def Leppard concert tour in the 80's. We can have cool t-shirts made up with the names of all the cities we visit. We'll be bigger in Asia than Whitesnake (and I don't think I need to tell you how much the little Asian women loved David Coverdale). Just like any good 80's tour we're going to kick it off in the heartland of the good old U.S. of A. We'll travel in style, our tour bus a 1998 Acura Integra. There might not be enough room for a crew of roadies and groupies but we'll make do. The U.S. leg of the tour will include stops in Huntsville, Evansville, Kansas City, Denver, the Grand Canyon and the continental finale in L.A.

Ahhh yes, Los Angeles, the City of Angels, and the birthplace of your faithful storyteller. We figured, what better place to start a fairy tale adventure than the home of Hollywood. I anticipate our journey will include many storylines that sound like they're straight out of a big budget Hollywood screenplay; whether it's a cheesy adventure flick with tons of stunts and special effects (bungee jumping in New Zealand, surfing in Australia, skateboarding over the Great Wall of China - wait, that's been done), a laugh a minute comedy (me asking every single New Zealander I meet where I can find a Hobbit, Cece asking for a hair dryer in Cambodia), or a taut, gripping international thriller (careening across Europe in an effort to save the world from a diabolical madman bent on mass destruction - and yes Dr. Lowe, his name will be Larry). Anyway, I'm supposed to be telling a story here...

I guess my mission with this post is to tell the story of how I came to be part of this journey. As you can tell by my wife's first post, she's been thinking about a trip like this for awhile. Well, I haven't exactly been planning/thinking about/dreaming about a 'round the world journey since I escaped from the womb like her, but I do enjoy a good vacation. I guess you can say I've wanted to visit a lot of our destinations for a long time, I just never figured I'd knock 'em all out on one trip. I remember reading as a kid that the Great Wall of China is the only man made object you can see from space. I thought, "Hmmmm, so when I'm an astronaut I'll be able to see it for myself". Sooo, I might not be an astronaut, but I think seeing the Great Wall up close and in person might be a little better than hovering about two hundred miles above it. I've also always loved the history associated with World War II. I'm fascinated by the stories of espionage and daring battlefield decisions and the epic struggle between good and evil (yes I know I'm quite the dork). When we were in London this October I marvelled at the endless amount of details and minutiae preserved in the Winston Churchill Museum located at the War Cabinet Museum (Cece was a trooper and let me while away a couple of hours here, trapped a few stories below street level while all of the hustle and bustle of London was available over our heads). Well, most of our history of the war, at least from an American perspective, is based on the Western European theatre, Normandy, Italy, and into Germany. This trip is going to give me a glimpse into Eastern Europe and how these cities/countries reacted to and survived the devastation of the Third Reich. I also want to take a trip to one of the concentration camps. I visited the sites of both the Oklahoma City bombing and Ground Zero in New York and I can only imagine how standing among the remains of a concentration will impact me.

Okay, now that I've officially bummed myself out I'm going to give a quick thought or comment on something I want to do or see in every country on the itinerary.

New Zealand: find a hobbit and ride in a jet boat (perhaps with a hobbit)...and bungee jump

Australia: get my picture taken with a kangaroo, talk like the Crocodile Hunter to annoy Cece, and scuba dive/snorkel on the Great Barrier Reef

Singapore: on Big Daddy's advice I think I'm going to get a pedicure and possibly a massage. They're also supposed to have excellent Chinese food; even better than the Chinese restaurant in the Heart of Auburn motel!

China: touch the Great Wall (I don't think I'll be able to walk through it like David Copperfield...but I might try) and find General Tsao so I can tell him I love his chicken

Hong Kong: do some stunts with Jackie Chan and pay homage at the grave of the greatest martial arts expert the world has ever known - Bruce Lee

Vietnam: ride in a rickshaw (okay, so these are Chinese but I'm pretty sure they use them in Vietnam too) and wake up Cece one day by yelling, "GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thailand: go bird watching...at a spot...in Thailand (bonus points for anyone who gets that obscure reference), sun myself on a beach like a lazy American, say over and over again, "Oh Jack talk Thai, Jack talk Thai real well"

Cambodia: visit the Angkor Wat temples and avoid any places where chickens are slaughtered

India: ride an elephant...I let Mookie ride an elephant when Meredith and I took him and Man to see the circus in Auburn...he had the best time and I want to experience that. I also want to find someone there named Sam or Brian or Allison. Anytime I call a customer service number that is routed to India the person who answers always sounds like Apu from the Simpsons but says their name is Bob or Iesha (true story...ask Cece). I ain't buying it.

Germany: see a World Cup game and make fun of a dude in lederhosen. Perhaps get drunk and belligerently brag about kicking Hitler's ass in WWII.

France: celebrate Lisa and Duncan's marriage (hopefully Cece will let me wear a kilt in honor of the groom). Play baccarat at a casino on the Riviera. When someone asks my name I'll say, "Bond...James Bond".

Poland: visit a concentration camp and pray that the world never sees another mass genocide on that scale ever again.

Czech Republic: drink a giant beer that costs a few pennies (according to Rob) and visit the churches and museums of Prague

Hungary: give props to the Zongor clan! Bore Cece to death by detailing how the city of Budapest was actually two cities, Buda and Pest, until they built a bridge over the Danube (pronounced Duh-nooby), thus creating the largest city in Europe at the time. Asleep yet?

Austria: the only thing that comes to mind about Austria is Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. I want to go back in time with them and find Sigmund Freud (Frood dude).

Croatia: I really want to see the city of Dubrovnik on the sea and take a ride on a sailboat looking back at the city from the water. Dubrovnik is also supposed to be home to the largest medieval wall still standing in all of Europe. Again, I acknowledge my dorkitude.

Denmark: visit the city that inspired a brand of smokeless tobacco. Find those silver skates that Hans Christian Andersen wrote about. They've got to be worth some serious cash.

Holland: ask for directions to the Netherlands. Make fun of all the hippies and American college students partaking of the wacky tobaccy in Amsterdam.

England: knock back a few at Cece's local pub in Hull. See if Hull really is the worst city in England.

Scotland: talk like Sean Connery berating Alex Trebek on Celebrity Jeopardy, "Ahhh rough, just the way your mother likes it Trebek!". Visit a castle and yell "They can take our lives, but they can never take our...FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ireland: knock back a Guinness and find a leprechaun. I'm gonna need the pot of gold to buy Cece new clothes and jewels to make up for all the annoying things I've done to her since we left the country!